Dear Lizzy: Kids in my neighborhood have now proven that they have NO problem jumping my fence to get to my dogs...even with me standing right there. So how can I make them NOT jump the fence when I'm not around?
-Trespassed in Oklahoma CityDear Trespassed,
Kids are pretty stupid and can be pretty annoying at times. This what you need to do:
1) Dig a two moats around the fence.
2) Fill one moat with alligators. Try to find out what pisses alligators off. An angry alligator is far more effective than one that's had a good day.
3) Hook moat number two up to your natural gas supply and light it on fire. Nobody is going to cross a fire moat. People respect fire moats.
This should take care of your kid problem. This also will take care of any annoying neighbor problems, religious nut problems, solicitors, and the occasional family member. If you don't feel like building a moat, you could always give your dogs rabies. This would be fairly effective, but not quite as bad ass as the moat solution.